Yes I'm still here!

So it's been a while since I posted anything. These last two weeks have just been crazy. All the kids had a 24 hour flu and then we all got struck down with THE most horrible cold ever. Really bad cough and congestion and Hudson got it the worst. Everytime he coughed he threw up...ugh. Poor little guy.

Amazingly through it all I have managed to stay on track everyday except one....this past Friday. I was so sick of all the hard work not paying off and seeing no change in the scale on friday's weigh in that I just let myself have a crappy feel sorry for myself day. I ate with the family and was PISSED when the next day I saw the scale jump 5 lbs.....SERIOUSLY????!!! I didn't pig out I just ate small portions of what the family was having (one being pizza) but I sure as heck didn't eat five pounds of food. I was soooooo disappointed and immediately went to my elliptical and did my run. Since then I have been back on track and definitely feeling different.

I definitely feel changes in my bodies shape. I'm looking in the mirror more often whereas before I would always avoid my reflection. Even when brushing my teeth I used to look away from the mirror. Now I am beginning to find things to like in the mirror. I'm seeing a more curvy shape and less flab lol. Even if it's my own disillusionment I feel like the changes are big enough for me to see. I'm walking a little taller and prouder these days and that feels good.

Cheyanne went to the Speech Pathologist yesterday and it was interesting to say the least. We started on the "t" sound at the beginning of words because she usually says "h" instead. She modelled the "t" sound like 5 times in a row at the beginning of the session and then for the rest of the time she just said "I can't say that" or "I don't know". She wasn't frustrated at all she just didn't care to try. I felt like she was thinking "Lady....I get along just fine...everyone knows what I mean and I get what I want.....I don't care about getting it right." lol I have some activities to do with her at home for the week but she's more interested in coloring them than doing them and Lauren (her older sister) wants to do the activities even though she doesn't need them.

Lauren went for swimming lessons again last night. She absolutely loves it and is not scared of trying anything. For most of the lessons she was climbing out of the pool and jumping into the deep end. Then she tried diving under the water and she came up with a huge grin on her face and yelled at me "I did it mom! I swam under the water!" She did it at least five more times before the lessons were over. She also poured water over another childs head a few times and I had to yell at her to stop...ugh. Then a few minuted later the child got her back and I was pleased to see that she didn't freak out. I mean I don't think she did it maliciously but she's got to know that it's not nice to do because some kids might not like it at all.

Anywho I think I've caught you up on everything. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day. Everyone seems on the mend from this cold so the mood is a little better around here! Have a wonderful day!

Bad Week!

Ok this week has been tough. Surprisingly not the diet or excercise but my whole crew has been sick. I am so tired of cleaning up puke and washing sets of bedding. This week was going to be a busy week anyways but now it just seems neverending. Lauren started her swimming lessons on Tuesday and did really well. She goes again tonight if she's feeling well enough. This morning she told me that her tummy hurts.....:( . I haven't gotten a phone call from the school yet so I'm assuming she's doing okay. Cheyanne has been sick for two days in a row and Hudson just started this morning. It's horrible to have a sick baby. They can't tell you they are sick or control where it goes and I just feel plain bad for him.

I've refused to talk to my hubby the last two nights. He calls and talks to the kids and then I hang up. He knows how tough it is just to have 3 kids all alone when they are well......but to have 3 sick kids all week.....well lets just say I'm wasted. He's only an hour and a half away....if he really wanted to he could drive home to help me out and then go back in the morning.....but NO he just thinks I should suffer. Well who knows what he thinks since I won't talk to him lol.

Anyways enough complaining...it's just been one of those weeks. I can't believe I have now worked out 13 days out of 15.....I am so proud of myself. GO ME!!

Success

Well I am officially deeming this weekend as a success. Mike came home and I not only managed to stay on track diet wise but I also got in my 30 min runs each day. I went out and bought new workout clothes and it definitely helps me get in the mindset. I think if I put them on each morning it will be a constant reminder to actually do it. Today was the first day I would almost say that my run was easy. Crazy how only 10 days ago it was tough I think my age might help me out a little because my body remembers being healthy not that long ago.

Anyways nothing exciting happened this weekend. We basically just hung around and enjoyed having dad home. He's leaving again in a few hours so I better get off of here and enjoy it. See you all tomorrow!

Proud

I am so proud of myself today. I woke up an extra hour early thanks to one of my daughters fooling with my alarm clock sometime yesterday. I was really sore and thinking all morning...I'll just wait until tonight when Mike is home to get in my run. But the more I thought about it the more I knew I had to get it in this morning or it probably wouldn't happen. So I did it!!!!! I have to admit it is getting a little easier. I used to run every once in a while for 20 mins but the extra 10 really makes a difference.

So I'm down 11 lbs already....wow it was so nice to see that number. If I really wanted to depress myself I could say that it's only 3 cause the other 8 was from the holidays........but I'm not going to think of that. This week my body is definitely letting me know that it's tired but if I can just plow through I think I will be able to do it. Mind over matter I guess. I was thinking I should make myself some stars or something and put one up on the fridge for every pound I've lost. I really need to treat food as fuel, and not as my friend, something to do when I'm bored, or something to just pack away unconciously. Tonight I told hubby that we are going to have tacos....I'm not going to have the tortilla as I have sayed away from carbs and sugars so far....but I'm glad that I can share a meal with everyone.

Can't wait for hubby to come home in about 4 hours!!! Maybe he might even notice a change in me......lol probably not.

Last Chance Workout!

That has been rolling around my head all day. I know now the key is to get my workouts in early when I have the energy. So I took Lauren to school came home and has breakfast and then did 30 mins TaeBo. I'm hoping to run tonight for 30 mins on my elliptical too. I really want the scale to jump and show me that hard work pays off. I am already noticing changes in my clothes....YAY!!

Mike will be home tomorrow and that's when the real challenges begin. I have to convince him that he will benefit from me being healthier and happier. I also need to do all the grocery shopping and preparing that I can while he's home. I've been doing better this year with him gone....not as depressed. I'm still a little lonely at nights. It's snowing right now so I know I have some snow shovelling ahead of me.....that is unless my godsend of a neighbour snow blows my sidewalk for me (he's done that a lot this year <3). Hudson is sleeping and Cheyanne is watching Enchanted so I need to get some house chores done. Just wanted to document on here how awesome I am feeling!!!! I can't believe the difference a week makes!

Much Needed Rest!

So I finally reached my rest day...ahhhhhhh! I think my body really needed it....or at least that's how it felt this morning. I woke up and didn't feel great. I didn't want to put all the work into following todays diet but I didn't want to sabotage myself either. So I stuck with the plan. I'm working on a meal plan today. I think the tough days will come when Mike is home on the weekends. He's bound to want to eat stuff that I can't and I just hope that he understands that it's not that I don't like what he makes it's just that I can't have it right now at this point in my life. I am most likely going to have to make food for my family and something separate for me. I'm trying to find ways to make stuff for them that I can also eat. Like steak, rice and veggies....but I could skip the rice.

Here's the big key.........planning! I need to make sure I have everything on hand so that I don't have an excuse to cheat. I need to go to the grocery store and have everything for their meals and mine.....that is my task today. So far so good today. I ate eggwhites and grapefruit for breakfast, a few almonds, a pear, a turkey cesaer salad salad for lunch (we had a huge turkey for new years day dinner so I'm still finishing it off....it's actually a blessing cause it's already all cooked). I'm feeling better and know my body is thanking me for feeding it right. I hope to see the payoff on fridays weigh in.

Finally Day 6!

Today was such a busy day. Up at 7:30 and got Lauren and everyone else ready and walked her to school. It's a nice winter day today so it was a bonus to not be freezing! Then I got all my house work done and watched a bit of Oprah. I had to take Hudson for his 4 month immunizations today. He did really well. He's 14.7lbs and 26 inches long.

Then I went and signed Lauren up for swimming lessons, took Cheyanne to the library for an hour. Went and picked up Lauren and 3pm and got home talked to my sis a bit for support, fed Hudson, laid him down for a nap. AND bribed the girls so that I could get my run in while baby was sleeping. Hey they are cheap to bribe they only wanted a juice box. lol

Now Hudson is awake and I need to make dinner for all of us and get the girls to bed. Then time to relax. I have been working out for 6 days straight now...wow. And I am taking tomorrow as a much needed day off. Yup just going to enjoy the day and focus on not sabottaging all my hard work!

3 Cookies = Not Worth It!

Ok so I did it. I cheated. I made it until this afternoon and got cocky and thought I was doing so well that nothing could stop me. So I decided to make sugar cookies with the girls. I was sure I could pass the test.....I wouldn't have a bite......yeah right. So here's the thing, my daughters.....healthy beautiful active little girls.......eat one cookie maybe two and can say to me I don't want anymore. That's what thin people do....they don't eat in excess......so why oh why does my brain tell me....yummy eat the whole plate. Luckily I stopped an all out binge and only had 3. I was so mad at myself that I actually punished myself.....at 8:30pm (while watching the bachelor...i'll talk more about this later) I jumped on my elliptical and ran for 30 mins. I'm making this a rule.....cheat and you get punished. The cookies weren't worth it at all, but at least now I won't beat myself up about it because I feel like I did extra work to work them off.

Okay so the Bachelor......hello Deanna? I so knew she picked the wrong guy last season but it's really not fair of her to come back and want Jason now. As far as I'm concerned they could just skip every episode until she shows up because I'm dying to know if he takes her back or not.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow and no cheating! Goodnight all!

Just Another Day

So Lauren woke up this morning and immediately asked when Shelbi was coming to pick her up. She literally sat and looked out the window until her mom came. She left at 10 and came back at 1. It was a nice break for me.

Last night I was up late. I was going to go to bed around 10 but then XWeighted came on at 10 and I had to watch it. It's so inspiring to watch people loose so much weight in 6 months....as I was watching it I kept telling myself "you can do that". I crawled into bed at 11 and then laid there and listened to every noise....then suddenly RING RING....I almost jumped out of my skin. Grab the phone and answered it and it was DH. He forgot the sheet that says where his first class was...so I had to run upstairs and check. Then I settled in for sleep and Hudson started crying. I listened to him on the baby monitor for a good 20 mins....I am determined to teach him that night is for sleeping now that he is big enough. He finally settled down and so did I and we all slept until 8ish.

While Lauren was gone I watched Oprah......so many things she said resounded with me. I also managed to squeak in 25 mins of resistance bands. I'd still like to fit some cardio in today.....but won't beat myself up if it doesn't happen. Knowing that hubby isn't coming home today after work sucks....but making my own schedule is also nice sometimes. We can eat when we are hungry and do what we like and not worry about his schedule.

I'm doing great with my food today and definitely feel a lot better...I just need to keep this mindset and I don't think there is anything that can stop me from my goal.

Last Day!

With my hubby around that is. I am so sad to see him go but I know he has to in order to get his ticket and better provide for our family. I am so lucky that his job allows me to stay home and be the mom that I always wanted to be. Truth is he is a lot of help to me. When he's off work he does most of the cooking and takes the girls lots of times and just leaves me with Hudson. He's brought in most of the wood this year and when he's working he still helps out with dishes and most night puts the girls to bed for me. I'm definitely lucky.

So he leaves tonight after supper....I know it will be hard this week. I had originally planned for Sunday to be my day of rest but with him leaving tomorrow I knew I had to take advantage of him being here and able to watch the kids. So I ran for 30 mins on my elliptical. To be honest I really didn't feel like doing it and half way through I still wasn't feeling it but the last 12 mins or so I felt good. Sweat was pouring down my face but my breath got regular and I was able to keep a steady pace. My muscles hurt a little today from TaeBo yesterday. I am doing the bootcamp version with the resistance bands and weights. I feel like I am standing taller today. :)

I also switched up my diet and I'm trying for a more lean protein diet. I have the six week body makeover by Michael Thurmond and I'm trying to follow it as best I can. It's hard to eat 5-6 times a day, between kids and housework, I feel like I'm always eating. As I type this it's actually time to eat again. lol I have lots I want to get accomplished today....laundry, overall cleaning and tidying the house....I need to take advantage of the extra hands around here. Tomorrow Lauren has her first play date with her best friend from Kindergarten. Then I need to phone the Aquaplex and see when sign ups for swimming lessons are and then I need to get her ready because school starts up again on Tuesday. I think it will be great to have her in school two days a week....it will be a nice break for me and hopefully when I can get in my workouts. :)

Day Two

Alright so I'm still here at day 2 of the challenge. Fed Lauren and Cheyanne breakfast and then made myself some oatmeal and mixed berries. Then I woke Hudson up.....there is nothing that makes me feel better than seeing the smile on his face when he sees me in the morning. Babies truly love their mom's no matter what their size...but he needs me to be strong and healthy too. My biggest goal this year is a family picture.....I don't have any. It's not fair to my kids that I won't let anyone take pictures of me because I am too embarassed. I want to have one to put up on my wall.....and I will by the end of this year!

I woke up in the right frame of mind today. Knowing that I had work ahead of me and that no matter what I was going to do it. Definitely the key is to get my workout done in the morning and not stress all day about still having to do it and then being too tired. I weighed myself this morning like I do every morning and I am down 3 lbs already. Now what I really need to do is ONLY weigh in on Fridays. I've got to stop the daily weigh ins. Seriously! Stop the madness! I feel better today, stronger, happier and definitely more energy. That is what I need to concentrate on.

I have been drinking so much water. Every time I walk by the water cooler I fill my cup....and that's a lot seeing as I have to fill the wood stove about every 2 hours. This is Mike's last day of work and he leaves tomorrow night for school. The next two months are going to be so hard for me. I will have the kids 24/7 and never get a break. The worst part is the nights alone. I am always so scared. I hear every creek and crack the house makes and always worry that someone will break in and hurt us. I have always had this fear however irrational it is.....it is so hard to overcome. Mike installed a dead bolt in the door this year to help me feel a little safer but I know the real challenge is mental. I really hate that it gets dark at 5:30pm now......I've never thought of myself as being afraid of the dark but maybe I am?

Anywho it's afternoon now and my girls are watching a movie and Hudson is sleeping in his crib. Time to get off my butt and do some house work!

What's it like?

As I lay in bed last night thinking about embarking on this Healthy O challenge I wondered to myself what it is like to not worry about being caught in a picture or video? What's it like to be thin? I look back at pictures of myself in my late teens early twenties and wonder why I didn't like myself then? And how if I didn't like myself then what must I think of myself now? What's it like to not worry about the angle you are caught at, your chubby arms, flabby tummy or slightly double chin?

I have never in my life been skinny. I have been curvy and never had a problem with men not being attracted to me but somehow after the birth of my kids I have forgotten about myself. Forgotten how important it is to like me. I am 26 and I have so much more life to live and I want to live it. I want to show my children what a healthy lifestyle is and that it's important to take care of yourself. I need this for myself now more than ever. I am determined to make this my year. To fight the buldge one step at a time and not get discouraged so easily. Day by day I will document my struggle here.

I'm excited for day 2! Here we go!